To Feel or Not to Feel…that is the Question?

“When will this pain end?” is one of the most common questions people who have suffered a miscarriage ask themselves and others.  Unfortunately, there isn’t a timeline for when the pain will end.  Each person suffers that pain in their own way and many try to numb that pain.  Some wonder how long they’ll feel miserable while others try to alleviate that by distracting themselves from thinking about it at all.  There are many who go through different feelings such as listed below:

  •  Shame
  • Guilt
  • Sadness
  • Anger
  • Loneliness
  • Confused
  • Self-Blame
  • Disgust
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Irritated
  • Isolation
  • Hopelessness

Some have physical symptoms such as:

  • Loss of appetite
  • Fatigue
  • Frequent periods of crying
  • Loss of interest in things
  • Relationship challenges with partner, family and friends
  • Suicidal ideation/suicidal attempts
  • Becoming angry at others

These are some among many other symptoms of depression when one loses a child.  It is  normal to not want to feel anything but we MUST allow ourselves to FEEL.  If we don’t feel then we suppress these feelings and that will cause more harm than help.  By allowing these feelings to come and go, we can help ourselves begin the process of healing.

It is tough allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to feel because to feel means to acknowledge your pain exists.  And that hurts our hearts because we are then again reminded of our loss.  But to let ourselves feel something signifies that we are letting ourselves heal and move forward no matter how difficult.  IT will be a difficult road ahead and I won’t lie, some days you just want to shut everything and everyone out but go with the process and walk through the pain.  But let yourself FEEL in a way that is healthy.  Talk to someone like a therapist who can help you through this time.  Hold on tight to loved ones and let them be of service to you.  They may not understand your pain but they are willing to be there for you so let them.  You’re stronger than you think.

Be Well and Keep Moving Forward!

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